New jack city



Father Jack contracts "Hairy Hands Syndrome" (level 6 out of a maximum 12) and is sent to Saint Clabbert's Hospital for elderly priests (jokingly named "Jurassic Park" by the Clergymen of Craggy Island, after the film of the same title).

To replace Jack while he is on leave is a new priest, Father Fintan Stack, an obnoxious, rude and destructive priest, who torments Ted and Dougal, Jack's former house-mates. Stack's torments include deliberately driving Ted's car into a wall and then telling him all about it and saying that all that mattered was that he liked it, insulting Ted and his friends in the priesthood, getting Dougal drunk on Jack's whiskey, drilling holes in the living room drywall for no particular reason and blasting Jungle Music at three in the morning (Ted labels him "worse than Hitler", because "you wouldn't find Hitler playing jungle music at three in the morning").

Fed up with him, Ted and Dougal kidnap Father Jack back from Jurassic Park. Jack, upon returning to Craggy Island's parochial house, finds out about Stack giving his booze hoard to Dougal. This angers Jack to do what are presumably terrible things to Stack, however he is stopped from taking his revenge when both Ted and Jack notice that Stack has caught the "Hairy Hands Syndrome" from Jack's ancient, diseased chair. Stack is sent to Jurassic Park (where he still insists on playing jungle music), and everything returns to normal (though Jack is locked in a hermetically sealed chamber to prevent him passing the hairy hands syndrome onto Ted and Dougal, which Ted considers an improvement)