John and Mary O'Leary,

a married couple who own and operate a shop on Craggy Island. The pair utterly hate each other and are constantly insulting and devising ways to maim and kill each other, such as Mary threatening to stick a knife "up [John's] arse!" Despite this, they do act like a happily married couple in front of other people. Whenever the characters encounter John and Mary, it is generally when the pair are in the middle, or during the aftermath, of yet another attempt to kill one another. In a DVD commentary the writers said although they liked the characters they felt were limited to one joke and were gradually used less as the series progressed. In the final series they only made one appearance.